Mom 2 Mom

I broke down and did it! For weeks now my sister has begged me to go to her mom to mom group at church. It didn't work out for awhile because of my work schedule but I finally took the plunge today. Everyday it becomes more real that I am going to have a child. But the fact that someone is going to call me "Mom" has not set in. I feel a bit lost at times because I only have one friend other then family who has a child and while its so exciting to talk to my close friends about the baby I feel like I need to connect with other moms who have gone through what I am about to go through.

So I went today and it was so much fun. We made a lot of fun crafts and had a wonderful devotion. It was so fun to meet new people and especially spend time with my sister doing "mom" things. For so long she's been the one with all the kids and my role was to just be the little sister and try to be the cool aunt:) I have learned a lot from from Mindy already and I am excited for her to get the chance to the cool aunt! I look forward to my next mom to mom adventure and I'm so grateful that Mindy talked me into going!

It's really happening

At nine weeks and five days we had an ultrasound that left us with a picture of a "blob" that we would call our baby! We were so proud and showed everyone this picture even though you really couldn't tell what it was was. I think it's safe to say that it hadn't really sunk in that we were going to have a child. I think the first moment it hit me was when the baby started moving. It felt like there were butterflies in my stomach. Now the baby is on the move very often. If the flutters weren't enough to make reality sink in, it definatley was the ultrasound at twenty weeks and five days. Seeing the difference in the two pictures is simply amazing! Our little blob has eyes, and a nose and ten fingers and ten toes. It has turned into a beautiful baby! Whether it's a boy or a girl I am head over heels! I find it funny that the common comment after seeing the picture has been, "Linds, it's really happening!" So apparently I'm not the only one who needed some convincing that motherhood was on the way. It is true, this is really happening, and I am sure there will be many more milestones that will reaffirm this information. I can't wait!

Innocent Minds

For nine years now, my sisters kids have been like my own. It dawned on me the other day that soon they will no longer be the only children in my life and I felt a little bit of sadness at the change. Don't get me wrong I already love my child more then anything in the world and nothing can replace that! But like Makenna, alomost 7, told me the other day, "I don't like change because I don't know how it's going to be." I definately welcome this change and couldn't be more thrilled but I do find myself wondering how it's going to be? Here are some snippets of how my sisters kids have viewed the changes in my life (and in my body:) . . .

Camden, 5, was the first to hear the big nnews and he just looked at me with a blank face like, "You have a baby inside you? Weird!" As time has progressed he has decided that I should name the baby Batman. He showed great concern when asking, "when they cut the baby out, are you going to die?" I assured him I would be fine and had to laugh that he thinks that is the only form of giving birth:) He also was the first to notice that my body was not quite the same. During month four I entered his house and he ran over to give me a hug. He quickly backed away and looked at me with his eyes wide . . . "Whoa, you're getting big!" Being glad that I was carrying a baby and not just gaining weight for no good reason, I laughed at his honesty and explained the changes. Now he makes it a point everytime I hug him to comment on how big I am. I can only hope this stops once the baby arrives:)

Kyran, 9, was the second child to find out and his reaction was so priceless, I will never forget it!! Knowing that he would grasp the news a bit better then his brother, I took him into the living room and we were just talking on the couch. At some point I asked him if was ready to have a cousin. He smiled and shyly and said "yes." My sister came in the room and asked him what we were talking about and he said, "Aunt Lindsay is going to have a baby." He was looking up at the ceiling while he spoke and Mindy asked him, "Are you crying?" He replied, "No, it's just the fan blowing in my eyes." Then he got up and ran back to his room. At that point Mindy and I both teared up. It was so sweet to see the news of a cousin bring this liitle boy to tears. Don't worry, they were tears of joy! He thinks I should I name my child Jasmine or Leo. Both not an option but it's fun to hear suggestions:)

Makenna, almost 7, is a special little lady. She has asked me to have a baby since the day I got married, so this was very good news to her ears. She thinks I should name my baby Gloria or Rosie. She doesn't have a boy name picked out because she insists on it being a girl. She wants to be the first to hold the baby, but jokes that if it's a boy she might drop it on the floor. "Just kidding aunt Lindsay, I will love it no matter what." She just wants there to be a baby around. She doesn't hesitate to rub or tickle my belly. She loves to talk to my tummy and thinks it so cool that the baby can hear her. I am so excited to share this experience with her.

Well there you have it . . . these are just a few of the outtakes from my niece and nephews that make this experience so fun. I know they will be the best cousins and I look forward to watching my child grow up with them. These are just three of the many family members and friends who are awaiting my childs arrival with open arms and I could not be more happy that they are a part of my life!

Anxious

Today marks the half way point. In twenty weeks my life is going to change drastically. The only word to describe how I am feeling is . . . Anxious! I find it strange that this word means "to be uneasy due to fear" and "earnestly desirous." How can someone be uneasy and desirous at the same time. Well if you're now pondering this question, let me tell you that you just can. I know from experience!
The first four and half months have gone by relatively slow. It seems like so long ago that I was standing among marionberries on a conveyor belt telling my husband that we had successfully and not so preparedly created a human being. I can't figure out how the last four and half months have taken so long but to only have four and half months left seems like not enough time!
Everyone keeps asking me "do you have things ready?" Nope. "Are you finding out the sex?" Nope. "Do you care what you have?" Nope! "You know you"re going to get alot of yellow." Yes I'm aware. Of course I'm anxious. . . I'm so unprepared! If my baby were born today it would have to sleep on a pile of tissue paper in a sea full of scrapbooking and craft accessories. I thought I was going to impress the world that the person who hates surprises most in this world, me, was going to wait to find out the sex of her baby, is actually ticking people off because they can't wait to find out. And frankly, I like the color yellow but maybe it will make my baby look washed out depending on its skin tone. Not everyone can pull off yellow right?
I see babies everywhere I go now. they are coming out of the wood work. Its hard to believe that soon it will be me toting around a little bumpkin. When it cries, I will be there. When it smiles, I'll be the one taking the picture. When it runs, I'll be the chasing it. And when it goes to college, I'll be the one paying for it. Of course I'm anxious . . . God has entrusted me to raise a child!
The moral of this story is that the English language is weird. We really shouldn't be able to use the same word to describe both a scary scenario and an exciting one!
The true moral of the story is that I have twenty weeks left of my pregnancy. Come fast or slow . . . I'm anxious!