Today marks the half way point. In twenty weeks my life is going to change drastically. The only word to describe how I am feeling is . . . Anxious! I find it strange that this word means "to be uneasy due to fear" and "earnestly desirous." How can someone be uneasy and desirous at the same time. Well if you're now pondering this question, let me tell you that you just can. I know from experience!
The first four and half months have gone by relatively slow. It seems like so long ago that I was standing among marionberries on a conveyor belt telling my husband that we had successfully and not so preparedly created a human being. I can't figure out how the last four and half months have taken so long but to only have four and half months left seems like not enough time!
Everyone keeps asking me "do you have things ready?" Nope. "Are you finding out the sex?" Nope. "Do you care what you have?" Nope! "You know you"re going to get alot of yellow." Yes I'm aware. Of course I'm anxious. . . I'm so unprepared! If my baby were born today it would have to sleep on a pile of tissue paper in a sea full of scrapbooking and craft accessories. I thought I was going to impress the world that the person who hates surprises most in this world, me, was going to wait to find out the sex of her baby, is actually ticking people off because they can't wait to find out. And frankly, I like the color yellow but maybe it will make my baby look washed out depending on its skin tone. Not everyone can pull off yellow right?
I see babies everywhere I go now. they are coming out of the wood work. Its hard to believe that soon it will be me toting around a little bumpkin. When it cries, I will be there. When it smiles, I'll be the one taking the picture. When it runs, I'll be the chasing it. And when it goes to college, I'll be the one paying for it. Of course I'm anxious . . . God has entrusted me to raise a child!
The moral of this story is that the English language is weird. We really shouldn't be able to use the same word to describe both a scary scenario and an exciting one!
The true moral of the story is that I have twenty weeks left of my pregnancy. Come fast or slow . . . I'm anxious!
About Me
- Lindsay
- My husband and I are about to embark on parenthood! I love to laugh, cook, write, scrapbook, coach basketball and spend time with my friends and family!
3 comments:
Anxious, yes...but it's all worth it. Just keep telling yourself that. And it's such a instinctive feeling, too- you'll be a great mom!
Wow...I actually got a few chills reading your post just now...perhaps it is just now hitting me as well that you, my Lindsunnie-D, my Donkey Lips, will actually have a real live baby to tote around at the end of this whole pregnancy thing! (It takes me awhile to catch on) :) I was just thinking to myself the other day, how amazingly calm you always seem whenever we talk or e-mail...
so as many people have probably told you I think that being anxious is perfectly normal! I know I will be crazy anxious when I am in your shoes someday! :) But anyways you should know that I think that you and Derek are going to be amazing parents, I just know it! And for the record, you may put one person on the list "that enjoys that fact that you are not finding out" if you are having a boy or girl...me :)
I think it is so exciting and I happen to enjoy yellow :)
I also know that Baby Imig will be welcomed into a world where he/she is so incredibly loved by his/her parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, parent's friends (me!), etc.
I also think it is pretty safe to say that Baby Imig will also be spoiled by his/her "aunt" Beka considering I have already bought a few outfits for him/her and there is still 4 months to go! :)
I can't help myself!
Ok wow I think my comments to your blog are as long as the actual blog itself so I guess I really should "get back to work now...." :)
I'm so glad you have this blog...I'm really into reading blogs right now.
I can't wait to meet your bean!!! I'm so excited!
I really love you!
You go baby mama!
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